So this blog space is my contribution to help usher in a paradigm shift. A shift to open the minds of the many to the lives of the few. Triamory is my piece. (That's what I call it at least.) There are many other pieces. Polyamory? What Like Two Girlfriends? is a great place to start if you'd like more info. Feel free to ask me whatever you'd like. I'm technically new to the world, but I will speak about what I know and why I have made the choices I've made. Respect me and I'll respect you. That is all I ask. Talk to you soon. xoxo M.H.B.
Thinking of a couple things I’d rather be doing than going to sleep. (Taken with instagram)
I was satisfied with haiku until I met you,
but now I want a Russian novel,
a 50-page description of you sleeping.— D. Young
The five types of tea.
Not three. But I love tea just the same. I find it so simply romantic.
(via allthelovesalivetonight)
#flashbackfriday charcoal on panel of the Medusa prototype by Chadwick. (Taken with instagram)
#flashbackfriday Chadwick’s rendition of me as Medusa circa 2005. (Taken with instagram)
You know you’re exhausted when you can’t even muster the strength to edit photos of super hot naked chicks.Â
People always tell me to be myself. But I guess I don’t really know what they mean. Since I’ve yet to meet a single person who can handle the intensity of all of the parts of me. Not a single one yet…
I push people to the edge without even trying. Push them away before I even show all of me. It leaves me lonely most often then not. Thankfully I have my art, but I gave that up a while ago too. It’s been a really hard and long road coming back to myself. Getting over the fear of being alone in the world, having to choose between that possibility or the pain of keeping myself gagged and bound. It’s fucking scary, not gonna lie. But I’m breaking myself with all of the energy I hold back trying to keep it from seeping through every little thing I do, every thought, every move.Â
On the horizon, I see some sort of promise of finally being able to really just be me. But I wonder if I even know what that means anymore. At least I’m not scared of ending up alone anymore. I know it’s not me, even though everyone has tried to convince me that it was. I try to have compassion for those who have stifled me in the name of love. I know it was my own fear mirrored in their oppression. They couldn’t help it. And I couldn’t help but comply. Because I really do love. And I really do fear. Too much maybe. It’s all I know. It’s all I’ve ever known. I need to love myself more I think. I need to have even more courage. I’ve not been kind to myself and I have suffered much for this fact. I want to change. I’m on the brink of it. I hope.
This world is so fucked up. I am no exception. I want what everyone wants and I’m just as unsure of how to get it. I just want to be allowed to be me without judgement. I just want to be loved because I exist and for no other reason. It seems so simple but there are so many games people play. I can’t keep up. I’d just rather not play. But you can’t win if you don’t play, and I’m definitely tired of losing…Â
